ChaptzemNisht Rebbe Endorses Prison Halachah Guide (Satire)
Many of us are in the Goyish Golus Archipelago which stretches from Otisville in the east to Alcatraz in the west. I am well acquainted with Harav Hagaon, Reb Getzel (Gezel) Akum, shlita. He never leaves the four cubits of torah, or his cell. Rav Akum’s new sefer, Hilchos Beis Hasohar: The Laws Of Incarceration©,covers:
- Hasagos gvul when dealing with prison gangs
- Selecting a nusach in a mixed minyan
- Including a moser in a minyan when required by prison regulations
- Sakkanos Nafashos and the heter for leasing your body parts to a goy
- Eruv in a walled environment
- Kiruv in close quarters
- Kavannah when saying the brachah for the geulah
- Will Mondrowitz have to observe second day yom tov?
By buying this sefer you will be spreading torah to new neighborhoods, facilitating halachic observance and supporting a worthy talmid chochum. Please purchase Reb Akum’s sefer.
Grand Rabbi of ChaptzemNisht , Rabbi Over Lavim
Signed, the 13th day, of the seventh month of the 4th year of my sentence