IN SUPPORT OF THE VICTIM- Guest Post by Hershey (Boorey) Deutsch

Editors note by Yerachmiel Lopin – Boorey Deutsch is engaged to be married to the brave young woman who will be testifying against Nechemyah Weberman when he is tried for sexually abusing her between the time she was 12 and 15. The trial is tentatively scheduled for Tuesday, October 30, 2012. He and his kallah (fiancée) have been given a very hard time by the community for pressing charges but they have been steadfast in their pursuit of justice. Many rabbis in the community signed a public letter proclaiming Weberman an innocent victim of a bilbul (blood libel) and urged people in the community to contribute to Weberman’s defense fund. A large fundraiser was held at the Continental catering hall and there was a counter-demonstration by supporters of the victim outside. Later four supporters of Weberman were arrested for offering Boorey and his kallah $500,000 to go to Israel instead of testifying. They also threatened to destroy Boorey’s business, a kosher restaurant, by making sure it could not get a hashgachah (kosher certification). They delivered on that promise and his business failed. Nevertheless he and his fiancée are determined to fully support the prosecution of Weberman. Read what he has to say about this sad situation where the molester is defended and the victim is defamed. In subsequent post I will be calling on my readers to offer support by attending the trial and offering other kinds of support. (Parts of an earlier version of this essay appeared under a pseudonym in other places).

The Klal’s (community) knee jerk reaction to sex abuse accusations is shocking. They are conditioned to be upset about the accusations and feel sorry for the accused. They don’t spend a second thinking about the horrendous implications for the victim. Let me back up a second. That is only true if the accused is another member of the klal. However, if the same victim is abused, attacked or molested by a secular Jew or a non-Jew then the victim is immediately believed and there is uproar in the community. “How dare they touch one of our own? How dare they violate this entire community?”

Did I say shocking? I should have said, reprehensible. It is still the same ben or bas yisroel (Jewish boy or girl) who was violated, humiliated, hurt, abused, used, disgraced, harassed, threatened and victimized. By turning a deaf ear and a blind eye to their pain and truth you, yes all of you, their brothers and sisters, neighbors, friends, teachers, mechanchim (educators), and rabbonim (rabbis) victimize them all over again. You not only double their pain, you compound it over and over again on a daily basis when you don’t believe them and, even worse, support the abuser.

You so nonchalantly make obtuse comments like “look who the accuser is….” First, let’s take a look at the abusers. What do you really think an abuser looks like? Do you think an abuser has a certain look about them? Do you think an abuser walks around with a sign that says “Be smart, stay away from me, I’m an abuser”? Do you think they look like the scum of the earth that they are?

An abuser looks like a father, a brother, a neighbor, an uncle, a cousin, a friend, a grocer, a baker, a sofer, a plumber, a school bus driver, a rebbe, a singer, an accountant, a lawyer, an author, the person that sits next to you on the bus or train, or next to you in shul (synagogue). It could be anyone and there is no way to recognize them from the way they look, the way they speak, or the way they act in public.

You cannot vouch for them in any way, shape or form. You are not with them 24/7; you are not their shomer (chaperone), and you are not inside their head. Would you have believed that the principal of a girls’ yeshiva would be molesting his own daughters at home and then getting his sons to join him in the molesting. Let’s understand this and understand that it happens. It really happens even though we don’t want to believe it. It is a horrible thing to have to believe about people, but there are countless children and adults who had gone through this in their own homes, who are now afraid of their own rooms and beds.

A few years ago I spoke to a man from Williamsburg who was running for political office. I asked him what he planned to do about molestation. He looked at me curiously. Then he said, “Some of my son’s best friends were molested”. I was shocked. He said it as if it was a rite of passage and an accepted form of child rearing. I of course asked, “You knew your son’s friends were molested and you did nothing?” I was shocked.

What happens in the outside world also happens in our world. We are all human and our people succumb to their yetzer horah (evil inclinations) like other human beings. We are afflicted with the same illnesses. We can’t just ignore it in the hope that it will go away just because it hurts us and makes us feels dirty and. It doesn’t go away: it gets worse. If we really want it to go away, we have to acknowledge it, address it and work on it.

Now let’s look at the accusers, the victims. Abusers never choose victims that anyone will believe. Get it? Let me say that again; abusers/molesters choose their victims very carefully. They look for the most vulnerable victims. Whom would you believe if they came forward? Would you believe the Rosh Yeshiva’s child? Probably? That’s why they never prey on the children of the Rosh Yeshiva. Would you believe the children of the wealthiest man in the neighborhood? Those kids are pretty safe. Would you believe the kids from the most dysfunctional family in the neighborhood? No? Why not? Oh, you would say, the family is all mixed up, the kid is probably lying. That is the kind of kid abusers befriend. Those are the kids they groom and go after, because they know that if those kids tell, no one will believe them.

Now, how do you feel about not believing the child? How do you feel about being tricked by the abuser before he even attacked the child? He was thinking about you first. He was thinking about how to fool you before he even chose his victim. He was figuring out how to fool theolam (the public) so he could get away with it.

That is the mindset of the molester. He plans everything from tricking his supporters to  molesting his victims. He is a phony, a pretender, a trickster and a monster. You think you know him but you don’t. You have been fooled by his act and you don’t know the faker behind the mask.

You know the saying: you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time but you can’t fool Hashem (G-d). He is all-seeing and all-knowing. Da lifnei mi atah omed (know before whom you stand)! We all stand before Hashem 24/7. He does not take vacations, lunch breaks or coffee breaks. His eyesight is better than 20/20; his hearing is perfect. He sees and hears everything. He does not turn away for 20 minutes while these so called tzadikim (righteous and holy) and chashuvah (respectable) people do their dirty crimes. He is not fooled by excuses. He doesn’t blame the victim. He does not forgive or forget.

There is a reason why more and more victims/survivors are gaining the courage to come forward; Hashem is filling them with courage. They could not do it without Hashem’s help. Without their emunah (faith) and bitachon (trust) that Hashem would help them they would not risk exposing themselves.

What do they gain from this? Why are they coming forward? They do it to put these monsters out of business, to save other children from them and to keep others from going through nightmares and torture.

Could you do that? Could you be a hero? Yes, I say hero, because they have suffered terrible repercussions. Would you want your personal business exposed for all to see? Do you think it is an honor to walk around with a sign that announces I am a victim or survivor of abuse?

Do you know how emotionally damaging is to be  victimized? Do you have any idea how one’s world is turned upside down by such trauma? Try to imagine just being frightened by someone breaking into your home and then multiply that a million times. Would you enjoy being controlled, abused, manipulated, threatened and forced to keep that all to yourself? Now imagine that it was your innocent young child going and you didn’t know. These victims/survivors are putting themselves on the line to try and save your kids from going through the same torture.

I take tremendous personal offense at the shmutz (filth) and lies that are invented to smear the reputation of victims/survivors. It makes me sick when people vouch for the abusers even though they don’t know them and certainly cannot vouch for them because they weren’t there when the abuse took place. Only the abuser and his victim were present and the only other witness is Hashem.

As each additional victim of the same abuser comes forward, it becomes more and more ridiculous that the klal refuses protect other children from him. Instead it but finds reasons to back him and call the victims liars. The most ridiculous question is “Where is the evidence?” The evidence is the eyewitness report by a victim. Do you really think a molester is going to invite guests to watch what he does so there can be witnesses? Does a burglar leave a receipt and a signed thank you note?

Here’s the bottom line. Adults with this illness have a choice. They can get help for themselves before they go out and hurt innocent victims or they can act on their taivos (evil inclinations) and hurt others. That is their choice. Victims have no choice. They don’t choose to be victims. They don’t ask to be abused and victimized.

We as a community also have a choice. We can face the truth and support the victims and teach all the abusers that we will prosecute them to the fullest extent of the law. This will send a clear cut message to others with the same inclination to get help and stay away from kids. We can send the message that we will believe the kids and we will not protect the molester; we will remove him from society no matter who he is.

The Weberman case is very clear-cut. If you choose to ask the right questions you will see that the victim is telling the truth and the accused has a lot to hide. By the way there are other victims of Weberman coming forward. Let’s start with the fact that he saw his accuser and other girls alone in his locked apartment on Classon Avenue.

A frum (observant) man who violates the laws of yichud (seclusion with the opposite sex) cannot be trusted. It is my opinion that the community is really trying to support and protect the school more than the molester. Why should Satmar’s UTA be protected. They sent a young vulnerable girl to be counseled by an untrained, unlicensed, unsupervised counselor for sessions beyichud  (in seclusion). Our yeshivas won’t even hire male teachers in an environment where they can be supervised. If they were going to have him counsel her it should have been done in the school or in a home were there were others around. Why was he was permitted to do as he pleased in his very “private” office without the benefit of a shomeres (a chaperone such as a secretary with access to the office). Why was he allowed to drive her upstate on road trips with no one else in the car? Obviously the school can and most likely will be considered an accomplice to the crimes since they forced these sessions on the child and family with the threat of expulsion. As I write this, the school has still not complied with the request from the court for documents; they are at risk for contempt of court. The question remains what are they hiding and why are they not cooperating? In what way do those documents compromise them? Furthermore, in what way are they complicit in the crime?

According to Weberman the victim is seeking revenge because Weberman persuaded the father to make a video of an alleged inappropriate encounter. According to his attorney, Mr. Farkas, Weberman is in possession of this video. This is another eye opener. If this is true, why did Weberman hold on to such a tape instead of the father? Why in the world did the father allow him to hold on to it. If this video truly exists what has he been doing with this video since he took possession of it? This is truly the most vulgar and the most disgusting evidence of all. It truly reflects the truth of his crude inclinations and intentions. Any decent human being would have destroyed it or at least returned it to the parent when he stopped “counseling” their child, or in the best scenario advised the father to rent a safe deposit box and keep it off premises. But to keep it himself only proves that he is a menuval (salacious low life). It is sad that any frum attorney would stoop this low and engage in such a chilul Hashem (desecration of G-d’s name).

This victim and her family have suffered enough at the hands of her abuser, her former school and her community. Every person who chooses to support her in any way will be doing a tremendous chessed (kindness) and mitzvah (righteous deed) not only for her but also for themselves in the fight against this horrible machlah (plague) in our society.

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36 thoughts on “IN SUPPORT OF THE VICTIM- Guest Post by Hershey (Boorey) Deutsch

  1. Its such a sad state to watch my old community succumb to this evil. Myself and others are here and support you and you fiancée till that monster is locked away for a lOooooooooong time

  2. Wow! So very well written. We must as a community shine a light on those who operate in the dark. No more “hush, hush.” No more looking away. No more blaming the victim. Let the chips fall where they may. Our children are simply too precious for us to expose them to any further risk from predators.

  3. The actions of the community are disgusting and beyond words. I hope that after all is said and done, you are able to achieve some measure of closure and healing. I don’t know either of you, but I am so glad that you both have found each other to lean on for support during this horrible ordeal. I wish you the best and all the love in the world in your marriage! I don’t speak for the entire SupportTheSurvivors.org Forum, but I do know that many of us will be at the trial to support you and all of the other victims of this animal.

  4. Thank u so much to each and everyone of you for your support. 
    Your support means everything to us. Lets hope more victioms will come forward and take of there molesters and abusers off the streets. No more pain to us victims of abuse!!! Thank you all again!

  5. Boorey, I know that Hashem is going to stand with you and your Kallah through this entire ordeal and give you the strength to see it through. The truth is out, and it will be proven in court. May the trial go quickly and appropriately so that the horrors of the past are finally put to rest and you can start of your new life knowing that this piece of garbage is finally where it belongs and will no longer be polluting the neighborhood.

  6. you got my support please let us know what we can do to make it a bit easier for you and your kallah

  7. If Yored lechayov and taking away Parnassas is their weapon of mass destruction, here is how to give them a taste of their own medicine, and teach them Balak.

    1) Any Hechsher user should not patronize such Baal machshir, he is nothing more than a Baal Treifah and Baal Neveilah, which is BeBaal Yeraeh and Baal Yimatze, Chametz b’Pesach veshaar kol yemot hashana.

    2) Boycott any STORE or any PRODUCT bearing his Hechsher, and let the owners know.

    3) Show him who is Tattele, and let him take his (Hechsher) Neveila uTreifah, and shove it up. Didn’t he have an abondoned truck of Sheimos with a poster bearing his hechsher just the other day. Let him seek a job with Eisav and give a Hechsher on STRAW for the Donkey’s, velo keChamoro shel Pinchas ben Yair.

  8. All so true we have to make sure all kids are protected being a victim od sexsual abuse myself i do know we have to protect and show love for kids who really got mollested my only problem with this post is the end of it lying about the facts being one of his students i know the whereabouts of the place and the way he used to see us, And by following closely the proceedings. 1)The school gave over there records 2) The father has send her not the school 3) The apartment where he saw his students has a door to his own apartment and his wife was always there in fact i would say almost all the time he saw me his wife would walk in the middle of the session and make a fax or look for something it used to annoy me i later learned he did that on purpose to have a way to get her in there because of yichud 4) Farkas never said he is in possession of the video he just asked the DA to bring it.

    • Moishy, a nice bubbe meise. I know from multiple sources that was alone and insisted on being alone when he did his “torah” counseling. Therefore Moishy, I know that you are not merely a defender of a molester but a liar. So I ask myself why would someone lie on behalf of Weberman. ?WHY?

    • Moishy, since you were there can you describe the apartment layout, furniture and office equipment.

      I can tell you the truth from someone who was in that apartment. I it small, a living room/dining room, and a bedroom off the LR. There was no office equipment in the apartment, period. The Mrs never came in. The bedroom had a bed and a chair or two. That was it. Forget about frumkeit and yichud. What normal therapist with teen girls has them do sessions with a bed. and I mean a bed, not a couch.

      Moishy, most folks think you are Nechemyah desperately wasting your time lying before you go to trial. I don’t think so. I think you are someone from UTA or Niederman trying to avoid the churban when the DA finds out you sent over a hundred kids into the clutches of this menuval.

  9. > i later learned he did that on purpose to have a way to get her in there because of yichud

    Yichud with Moishy?

    • Haha i have the same question yiched with Moshy?? N ill tell u more when he took the girls/girls upstate or to monsey dis his wife also come in to the car to send a fax?? The school gave over the paperwork after the Judge told them to better bring it to the next court or  she will send down investigators to the school so the school typed a paper which most of was a lie (the dates she went to weberman and the amount of money they asked the father to give to weberman  for security so the girl will have to go if not the girl cant come back to school.. Now u saying the father sent?? So y did the school write on the paperwork that they sent her and they even asked from the father $7000 for security?? (they asked for 8 but they wrote they asked 7!!! 

      So to me ur just another chused from willi that lies to ur own mind OR U R WEBEMAN UR SELF OR A SON/FAMILY OF HIS!

  10. You and your fiancée are heros in my eyes. Please tell me which hechsher was taken away. I want to boycott it. A hechsher who participates in intimidation and witness tampering cannot be trusted. I think it would be a good ideal to make a campaign anti this hechsher…

      • Can anyone compile a list of his products and his address so people can write him to say they are not buying his stuff. We should also contact restaraunts and let them know we will not buy from them.

        I think the basic argument is that his hasgachah cannot be trusted. If he pulled it to penalize reporting on Weberman to the police he is guilty of violating basic halachic requirement of lo saamod al dam reachah. If he claims that he believes Weberman is innocent let him prove it by showing he did serious inquiry with the primary sources. If he is that sloppy about halachah and factual inquiry why should anyone trust his hashgachah? If he claims, as is probably true, that he was pressured, then why should he be trusted to stand up to other pressures?

        I feel that spineless creatures have no bussiness being poskim and machshirim. And if the only thing that guides their decisions is pressure, let them feel the pressure from the victims and their supporters.

  11. Moishe: Whoever you are- He had his wife come in? Oh really now? Maybe when he had boys, so later on they can say- the wife comes in and out. He did that on purpose- because on some level he knew this is all going to come crash down on him- therefore he made a security move by having his wife enter for future witness proceedings. Why dont you talk about the bed (not coach) he had inhis office- or the full length mirror he had there? Do you really want to know what he needed the mirror there for? your mind would not be able to handle it!!!! As far as records from the school, there was none? Want to know why? Because Weberman is not a professional (oh yes he is a professional menuval and molester- that yes) and he did not know that you have to keep some kind of records. Now where exactly should the school have gotten records? The school alone is to blame!!! Why couldn’t they give him an office in the school- that has a glass door or window- and keep it ajar- so there is no question of yichud? Because the school alone did not know how professionalism should be conducted- and that a proper therapist keeps some kind of records (albeit with the initials of the client- so to keep confidentiality intact) and the school should have demanded to see some progress report. But no, the school made money on these deals” Chutzi Sheli Chutzi Sheloch” the $7,000.00 was split Weberman got 3,500 and the school the other half!!!! Now that the courts are breathing down their back- they improvised some papers!!!!!! Stop defending Weberman- because the more you are defending him- the more hienous deeds will come out- of what he did. I wish I can allow myself to post some of the things he did- but as it is the days before Rosh Hashona and klal yisroel needs much rachmei shomayim- I will defrain. To all those that believe that Weberman is a good man and blameless, I wish you all such a good and kind man like him in your daughter’s or grandaughter’s life!!!!

  12. Sara @ Support…
    Please Google up : Kosher certification Shmuel Berger

    1)Mitaber al riv lo loy, RASHA. Blackmail on someone elses issues.
    2)Hu lo yiten (hechsher)veacherim lo yitnu, RASHA.
    3)Hanei achbara RESHIEI ninhu, they also call their friends to rob the food.
    4)RASHA, lama sakkeh reachah?
    5)Tarbus anashim ra’aim vachataim La’shem.
    Therefore,
    Ka’asher asah, ken yeasseh bo.
    Such a Mega RASHA cannot have a chezkat Kashrus.

  13. It seems that the reason for holding on to such a video if it does exist, for reasons of future blackmail. The Torah states: Tzror et Hamidyanim vehiketem otam ki tzorerim hem lachem benichlehem asher niklu lachem al dvar peor….
    It is apparent and transparent that this whole thing was purely a setup, and This Bilam Weberman Hurushu admits that it was his doing, but we never hear from these so called leaders that it is ATZAT BILAM and ATZAT ACHITOFEL setting such up such. We don’t hear them EVER (and you know who they are) screaming in Kol Kore’s it is deplorable to be a Choteh Umachti KeYerovom ben Nevat, which also entails a whole chain reaction of Lifnei Iver, Arrur Mashgeh Iver, and the list goes on and on, regardless of any benefits monetary or otherwise for these Machtie Harabim. If for only Tikun Olam it should not be admissible, let alone encouraging such and even without a video, and there are MANY out there that are osek bidvarim kaele as making a living out of such Y.S, Vezichram, V’EIN POTZEH PEH UMETZAFTZEF. You could have never understood any better “HARATZACHTA VEGAM YARASHTA”! Does anyone still care about Chilul Hashem anymore?

    What you DO hear and see all over the place is, that they are heavily into themselves and women’s clothing, skirts, sleeves, and necks, too long, too short, too tight, too clingy, too schltizy, too see through, what is visible while sitting, bending, or just for being there. Then comes the Sheitlach too this, too that and the other, because it can chas veshulem lead to ~ who knows what ~. They scream and make ‘gevaldeves’, you might think some one robbed the Bank. But SETTING UP ” ~ A who knows what ~”, sits fine with them, no crying no screaming, all is fine and dandy, especially when they can besmirch and COVERUP for the oisvurf, sheigutz and lowlife scum, wolf in sheep’s clothing of Rosh Mishmeres haTzviyak, Menuvel NEGED- VESHELOY BIRSHUS HATOYREH, this despicable ASKAN BILAM HURUSHU. And then they gather their masses and CLUTSH hands to each other and ask for handouts for BILBUL, MISSILES, BATIACH, BATTATA, ELEF LAYLA VELAYLA. Ele panecha so called manhigim. Go get yourselves real jobs, we have an inflation of ‘Rev’ovo ketzemach hasadeh’, all day you think up how you can promote your names signed on those pashkevilin by a ‘Kak merun’ du and ‘AvBD deKak’ dort and USSER this and USSER yens, otherwise no one even knew that you exist. All you have is a P.O.B. and wallah, your ‘e in business. If you have something to say, print it in a sefer. Anyone interested can buy it at will, since everyone has their own poskim to ask anyway, no need to push it. You are only burdening klal Yisrael and the system with your shlichim Schnorring to pay your mortgages, and today’s economy can’t afford this anymore.

    • All your responses and comments are so true. However we have a problem- all the people that need to read and hear this- are hiding under the banner, “that internet is usser”, and all the people that are reading this- are probably the ones that agree to whatever is being posted here. Internet and blog sites are a big tool for educating people and exposing the wrong doer’s. This is what the Rabbanim were so scared of. Now here is it where it gets interesting- While putting an ad in “Der Yid” which was faxed to them directly from the Graphics agency- when it came time to give the payment info (c.c. #) it was requested by email!!!! Hello? If it needs to be emailed- then there must be a computer involved-if there is computer then it must have an internet site……(PS. this was before the City Field Kinus). DER YID??? can u get more Satmar than that? It is unfortunate but we have an inflation of Rabbunim that are mostly bona fide “Am Huratzim”,”kovid”seekers, ego-maniacs and false as a two headed copper penny!!!! At most they can only be trusted to “pasken milchig and flieshig- and tehara shielos”. They are not interested in educating themselves to the epidemics of today’s generation (children going off the derech in droves) that has pandemic proportions!!! They dont care to find out the reasons for this spiritual holocaust!!! All they care is not to lose a “mispallel” from their shul- because it will hurt his maleva malka banquet (Ess veht aim failen dem tzevontziger).
      We had an opportunity by the “kinus” in City Field, and again by the Siyum Hashas- to be “meoiyrer” the populace of (Rabbanum- Mechanchim-Rosh Yeshiva-Menahels and just “stamm” “Amchu Yisroel” that little children are not to be violated (touched in untzeniyusdiga ways). Personal space should be respected and…….. It is an aveira and sources should be quoted- and if you will violate this and you will be caught- you will be prosecuted to the full extent to the law. Y couldn’t a group of Rabbis get together before the event- and decide to unite and talk about this???? This is our issue in todays dor and this is unfortunately our “Avoida Zora” so y not musser about this?? Doesn’t anyone realize that “H” is punishing us- by having the Governments starting to make inroads in not allowing “Bris Mila” done the way it was always done???? If we are “poigem” in this issues- we are being punished “mida keneged mida”!!!!! Shame on you-Rabbanum-Dayunim-Vaad Hatzniyus…….
      Gehenim has the headtable at the dias reserved for you!!!!

  14. Brought me to tears, you are an amazing husband, and I am so happy that your wife found such a supportive man, to show her how a woman should be treated. I especially liked how you pointed out that abusers hand pick their victims, so that no one will ever believe them. Following the trial and seeing weberman be found guilty has been life changing for me. Unfortunately your wife is not alone, there are thousands of frum victims, and hopefully the courage you have shown will be a light onto others. please know that your victory in court is a small victory to all those victimized and abused in the religious community.

    • Ur so very welcome.. With all ur support we were able to that, we fought for the whole world together!!!!

      • Congratulations. I was very impressed with the eloquence and cogency of what you wrote. I wish you and your bride much happiness.

      • I just listened to the zev brenner radio show, and I just want to let you know I think you did an amazing job answering the questions and handling the haters and everybody with a mind of their own can see straight through their lies ! Thank you again to you and especially your wife and i hope u only have happiness from now on!

  15. As a young woman myself, I was particularly horrified when I heard this case. I followed through much of the case, praying that justice would be served, and that this Webberman should be thrown in jail for life. Unfortunately, I have seen men like Webberman, in these type of communities, and it really breaks my heart that they are barely being stopped, and rather, more are being bred. As thankful as I am, along with many others, that he has been given 103 years, the pain and trauma the girl, and now young woman had is irremovable, but hopefully lightened. I truly hope she will be able to recover and continue life, with a fresh start.

    I pray for you both, and all victims of abuse, that Webbermans should burn in gehenom, and that there be no more victims.

    All the best to you, and your Kallah, you are strong, righteous, wonderful people, much needed in our imperfect Klal Yisrael.

    Only simchot:)

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