How I Stood Up to Ami – Guest Post by “Colloquially Speaking”

The blogger of Colloquially Speaking worked as a writer did freelance writing for Ami before its recent propaganda campaign on behalf of Weberman. Below, with her gracious permission, is her post, How I Stood Up to Ami.

How I Stood Up to Ami

I can’t write about AMI magazine and the Weberman case.

I can’t go there.

But I wanted you to know – anyone who knows me and understands me – that I sent them an e-mail today.

Please remove me from your mailing list.  I do no wish to write for a magazine such as yours – regardless of your twisted bias on the Weberman case, it did not belong in a ‘family magazine’, was an embarrassment to you and an insult to countless victims of sexual abuse and molestation.  I will no longer be purchasing AMI and never want my name associated with it again.

I had mixed emotions.  On one hand, they published my writings…validated my skill…on the other hand….they invalidated everything I believe in.

And when I pressed send, something rolled over my chest and I wanted to scream but no sound would come out so I sat and I sank into myself and fell apart as I thought of what all this meant.

I know people think I am outspoken and open about things.

I know people assume I don’t hold back.

But I know what I can’t ever say.

And I know the stand I wish to take is denied me for reasons I WON’T say.

I know I am protecting someone.

That is my choice.

It is the right choice for me.

But in some ways, I wish I could have pointed a finger and accused.

So I can only take a stand for other people.

And I just did, in my own little way.

And it was scary.

See also: Why I Support the Boycott of Frankfurter’s Ami Magazine

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14 thoughts on “How I Stood Up to Ami – Guest Post by “Colloquially Speaking”

  1. Wow! If you haven’t found the courage to talk about yourself, at least you were able to speak up for someone else – kudos to you for hitting the “send” button.

  2. Not sure you read the article. Ami. I did and it in no way is protecting Weberman. But regardless, they have every right to do so, should they so choose. Countless cases in the United States have divided those who believe a particular party is or is not guilty. So long as there is no smoking gun, some cases shall forever be debated. However, your post reveals that you should go for help. It is obvious that the rage you are suppressing against your attacker, you have transferred to Weberman and by extension to Ami. You must get help. Its is just so long that you can use them for your punching bag. You need to heal yourself

    Submitted comments under 6 different names over a period of several days. Barred from further commenting on this site. IP address: 50.14.76.11

    • You are patronizing. She is a capable writer. You can be sure she read it before she gave up a source of income.

      Ami’s article is so vile in so many ways that I would need hours to expose all its details that are outrageous and disingenuous. You write just like Frankfurter (or his ghost writer). Let me illustrate my argument. Frankfurter (or his ghost) writes in his first paragraph that he does not intend “to use (the interview with Farkas) to influence public opinion.” Really! Can any sane reader believe that after going through the rest of that interview?

      Shana, i am not going to patronize you by saying you’re nuts. In all likelihood you are either working for Ami or invested in Weberman’s defense for some reason unrelated to any quest for the truth.

  3. Thank you so much, Colloquially Speaking. (I’m also delighted to have learned of your blog here.)

    Thank you Yerachmiel, over and over again.

    • Why can’t Jews learn about love and forgiveness from Christians? Why do you guys always talk about hate and revenge?

      • John,

        Jews don’t need lessons in compassion from Christians who inflicted pogroms, mass murder and genocide on us. There is nothing wrong with pursuing justice.

        The Rev. Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. once said, “As a Christian, when a man strikes me on one cheek I offer him the other cheek. But if he strikes me on the other cheek, I beat the hell out of him.” Weberman is so far beyond one strike.

        Incidentally, John, Jewish law prescribes bringing molesters to the civil authorities, not for the sake of revenge, but to protect other children. As a Christian, I would have thought that you would endorse the statement attributed to Jesus, “Suffer unto me the children.”

        John, at first I was tempted to just delete your comment when I noticed you were spamming for a Christian evangelical site through your URL. But I decided to reply. However, you have worn out my patience with your ignorance and prejudice about Jews. Please study up before you return here.

      • John,

        It is because the Jews on this site like to protect our children instead of just moving the offenders to different parishes, or as they are known in Yiddish, as yeshivas and shuls.

  4. While you made a very strong statement and I agree with you 100% I can’t help but notice that at the same time as you state that the article was “an insult to countless victims of sexual abuse and molestation” you yourself wrote something that is more than an insult to “countless victims of sexual abuse”. Not only was it an insult, it is extremely hurtful to the specific victims as well as others that thought that you were standing up for them. Please see the article written by “Colloquially Speaking” here: http://colloquiallyspeaking.wordpress.com/2011/12/16/here-lies-the-life-of-andrew-goodman
    And if you don’t know who Andrew Goodman is, google him and also see the latest article about him here: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/sicko-kid-abused-wed-article-1.1432395
    Why can’t people that claim to be against sexual abuse and molestation really be against it? Why do they make excuses for the hurt they cause with their words and writings when it involves someone they know. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I request that “Colloquially Speaking” apologize to the victims of molestation that she hurt and continues to hurt with her shameful blog posting.

    • As I read her article about Andrew Goodman she is saying that Andrew Goodman was raised in an extremely dysfunctional environment and that may have contributed to his becoming a dreadful abuser himself. I have no trouble believing he is an abuser who needs to be controlled by prison sentences who is also tragically someone who need not have ended up that way. Meir Dascalowitz is a rapist who should have been sentenced for even longer but he is also a victim of Baruch Mordechai Lebovits (according to information he provided).

      In her article, Colloquially Speaking goes on to say that there is some hypocrisy in people rallying to catch a molester but ignoring the abuse that contributed to the formation of that molester’s traits. No argument from me either. One can recognize causative factors without it being an excuse for misconduct. I believe in punishing murderers while also believing that a number of murderers were raised in dreadful circumstances that may have contributed to someone’s later misconduct. Evil is not zero-sum.

      Check out this post by “Shay Kaiser” about the problem of bystanders to physical or sexual abuse or parental negelect who do not act to intervene.

  5. I cannot believer that you are joining in this game and trying to defend the words of “Colloquially Speaking”. This is shameful on your part too. The “Victim” here is NOT the abuser. All abusers and their friends try to make themselves feel better by making an excuse but not everyone that has a hard life decides to RAPE children. To turn around and cast the blame on the “neighbors” is shameful. Imagine that you are the victim here and someone who’s writing against abusers says this. How would you feel. If you want to talk about how abusers had a hard life, do that separately without mentioning names. Don’t put it together all as one. Don’t say that when someone see’s a murdered and stops him from murdering an innocent child hundreds of times that he’s a hypocrite because he should have intervened years before. You see something NOW you do something NOW. You don’t know anything about the neighbors to make comments like this. You’re basically telling the victims “he had a hard life, he shouldn’t have done it but we are still friends with him, we will stand beside him in and out of court and support him regardless of how that makes you feel because we apparently don’t care about you, we only care about the Abuser”. The abuser that turned to you in court in front of the Judge and all the people and began by telling you how much he loves you. The adult abuser that is now claiming that he “married” you as a 15 year old according to “Jewish Orthodox Law”. I can’t believe you Yerachmiel are falling for this crap too.

    • Your name may not matter, but your reasoning does. Andrew Goodman is rotten and deserves to be locked up for as long as the feds deem necesaary. He is sick and dangerous. You attempt to make me seem like a defender of a molester is so recklessly hostile that I have to call you out. You are playing a silly game. I am completely clear about my stance about molesters in general and Andrew Goodman in particular who I have called out for over a year.

      However, those who ignore child abuse and neglect are also criminal. Can you handle the idea that one person can be evil and yet someone else can also be called out for their failings. Not every abuser started out evil. Some may not have gone down that path but for abuse or neglect by others. To the extent that is true, we should address that problem. If you disagree, spell it out. But don’t foolishly or dishonestly claim that anyone who concerns himself with more than one problem at a time is trying to excuse an abuser. Not logical and not honest.

  6. “Colloquially Speaking” is blaming the neighbors. As I stated before, you don’t know the neighbors. Additionally, when the neighbors did in fact realize something was going on and made multiple attempts to do something and finally did something to stop him and protect their own children, they became hypocrites. What I’m saying to you is don’t defend “Colloquially Speaking” and what she wrote. Would you say those things to Andrew Goodman’s victim? If not, then you surely shouldn’t publish it on the internet. I’m not trying to make you seem like a defender of a molester. I’m trying to get you to realize that when you defend a “friend” of Andrew Goodman in a public way, that makes you seem like you are defending Andrew Goodman.

  7. This is a post about Ami, you are focusing on a different piece by the same author. I have no information of my own. The premise of what she is writing there is that while the neighbors were good at watching Goodman to protect their own children, they failed to act and intervene when goodman himself was a neglected child in trouble. I do not personally know if this is true. You have not spoken to whether it is true. Let us for the moment suppose it is true that he was neglected or abused himself as a kid and nobody intervened. If so, she is raising a valid point. What is wrong with saying, if you see a kid being neglected or abused you should say and do something. Do you or don’t you agree with that position in principle. We all agree he turned into a monster. Does that mean that no one failed him earlier?

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