Rav Gadol Shekker of the Shah Shtil Institute for the Prevention of Mesirah (snitching) has successfully prevented mesirah in hundreds of cases. He is widely sought for his expertise by the leaders of all the frum communities, Litvish, Hungarian, Chassidish (including Lubavitch) and Sefardish. In keeping with his natural modesty and the requests of his sponsors he will not reveal their names. Rav Shekker grew up in a frum home in Baltimore. His great hunger for torah led him to move through many yeshivas and chavrusahs. He learned with them with great geshmack. He finally secured ordination in secret from three great gedolim who urged him to continue his work of preventing mesirah. He has also been very diligent in discouraging the use of civil courts by Jews except when both parties in an inheritance dispute have a seret. As he has explained when it involves a chassidus, a shul or a yeshiva it is essential to uphold the rule that boards of directors and elders have no rights.
ArtScroll is proud to present to the English reading public a guide to the complex laws guiding reporting molesting. Unfortunately our community has in its midst individuals whose learning of torah was not complete enough. For reasons that are not fully understood some individuals who are Jews nevertheless violate the rules of tznius. There are many reasons this happens. Sometimes a person was raised in a lax environment whether in yeshiva or in the home. Sometimes an individual was inadvertently exposed to the Internet, especially the blogs that show no respect for daas torah. Sometimes they listened to the wrong sort of Jewish music. Maybe even, chas v’challilah they started with food with two or three strong hechsherim and then got lax and used products with just one hechsher and a weak one at that. I don’t even want to consider the possibility that some of them have been misled by the children of R. Abadi in Lakewood who claim that for most foods one can rely on reading the ingredient lists. In any event these things happen.
To molest a child is a terrible thing. So terrible we will not talk about it any more. Moreover one should always be cautious because such talk can harm innocent relatives’ marriage prospects. Moreover when victims themselves talk about it is untznius and is often motivated by anger and vengefulness. It is much more important to avoid the problem than to have to deal with it. Thus we encourage further strengthening of tznius. Children, both boys and girls must strive for higher levels of tznius. Adults must take care to convey a tznius attitude. In this way children will know their adults are innocent of any awareness of such things. This helps to discourage foul language and false accusations.
Sometimes, in spite of all of our precautions a parent or responsible adult learns of accusations directly from a child. As caring adults we must convey a willingness to listen to any charges as long as the child has a good reputation. Thus if a child from a good family with a good record for learning and behavior alleges misconduct we must listen. Sometimes the charges will involve a respected member of our community. That should make you suspicious. But we can never completely exclude the possibility that the child is right and the adult is in the wrong. This is extremely rare but it has happened.
In situations like this it is important to get the facts right. Accordingly seek out your rav to discuss this matter. In most instances a rav will review the facts with you without requiring the child to discuss such embarrassing facts directly with the rav. Children and females are in any event not allowed to give testimony in a din torah. By and large you can rest assured that the rav will usually find that nothing has happened that requires further intervention. He may contact the accused to clarify and avoid future misunderstandings. Very often the accused can then meet with the child and clarify things so the child can avoid the problem of repeating false accusations.
Other topics covered in this valuable sefer include:
- Thereapists- the right kind
- The din rodef issue
- The flight to Israel
- Those who raise the issues are angry and seek revenge but revenge is not Jewish
- The US Government is not a medinah shel chessed and Israel is Zionist
- Marriage cures all
- Shidduchim are the foundation of Yiddishkeit