The Hynes Shredding Operation

shredder FOIA CartoonTruth can be stranger than fiction or speculation. Shortly after Charles J. Hynes lost the September 10, 2013 Democratic primary for reelection as Brooklyn District Attorney, I wrote: “Rumors are circulating that there might be a major shredding operation.” I picked up on that theme in my Downfall of Joe Hynes parody video.

A few weeks later I wrote a parody of job search advice for Michael Vecchione, the culprit in the wrongful conviction of Jabbar Collin. Among the options, I suggested to Vecchione, tongue-in-cheek:

  Three Monkeys Security Devices Ltd Manufacturers of Mike’s Brady Special

Three Monkeys Security Devices Ltd
Manufacturers of Mike’s Brady Special

You are a natural salesman. Hong Kong’s Three Monkeys Security Devices Ltd is looking for an independent spokesperson/pitchman for their new line of shredders. They might even oblige you by naming their top-of-the-line model, Mike’s Brady Special.

Back in the world of reality, the New York Observer’s Ross Barkin reports:

On the first day of the new year, Mr. Thompson entered the 350 Jay Street headquarters of his predecessor, Brooklyn District Attorney Charles Hynes. Mr. Thompson, a Democrat, walked into a large conference room and saw at least a dozen trash bags stuffed with documents accumulated from the 24 years Mr. Hynes, also a Democrat, served as district attorney, sources with direct knowledge of that morning recall,

shredder industrial yellow“It was absolute chaos,” a source close to Mr. Thompson who spoke on the condition of anonymity told the Observer. “There were literally bags of shredded documents everywhere. Contents unknown. Hynes and his henchman just arbitrarily shredded documents.”

Given my suspicions of Hynes and his crew, I hope they saved those bags as potential evidence of crimes. Of course they may be a step ahead of me and they may have turned them over to the New York State Attorney General, Eric T. Schneiderman, who is conducting an investigation into the misuse of government funds for Mr. Hynes reelection campaign.


5 thoughts on “The Hynes Shredding Operation

  1. It would be interesting to know if cross-shredders were used which slows down reconstruction of the documents by several months from what I’ve heard, and which requires special expertise which perhaps only a few specialty companies & the FBI possess.

  2. If the Iranians could reassemble documents from shredded strips in 1979 I’m sure we can do something similar now. My guess is the shredders are low-tech strip-output ones.

  3. Were these documents the property of the KCDA? They were not the personal property of Charles Hynes. Perhaps “destruction of government property” can be added to the list of charges faced by the disgraced former DA..

    • I’m pretty sure destruction of evidence is a more serious crime. And if some of the shredded paper wasn’t evidence of misconduct, why was it shredded?

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