Abuse Survivor Joey DiAngello Died of Drug Overdose (updated)

Joey Dinagello Confronts Nechemya Weberman

Joey Dinagello & Nechemya Weberman

This morning, Rabbi Nuchem Rosenberg Tweeted the suicide of Joey DiAngello.

Added at 6 p.m.: Other sources insist it was an accidental overdose. Burial was announced for today (10/19/14) in the Monsey cemetery at 2:00 p.m. But then the burial was done at 1:00 p.m. and over before 2:00 p.m. according to the blog Rare View. This is reminiscent of how the burial society of Skver also concealed burial arrangements of another OTD (formerly orthodox) death to prevent non-orthodox friends from participating.

Diangello was born as Yoel Deutsch into a Hasidic family in Williamsburg. At a 2009 event in Passaic’s Ahavat Israel he described being raped in a mikvah (ritual bath) while a young child. At the trial of Nechemya Weberman he confronted him as another person who sexually abused him.

Joey was estranged from his family and I am not sure if they even participated in his burial or if they are even planning on sitting shiva for him. Misaskim, which lists all burials and shivas in the orthodox community had no listing for him on their online database today. However they did have a listing for the notorious molester Lipa Brenner, father-in-law of another notorious molester, Eprhraim Bryks. Both are no doubt accorded the title rabbi in the listing.

A group of his friends and some family gathered in private, in his memory, this afternoon in Monsey

May he rest in peace. May the community have no peace for its culpability in the abuse of children and the protection of abusers.

Lipa Brenner Misaskim notice 10-19-14

 

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35 thoughts on “Abuse Survivor Joey DiAngello Died of Drug Overdose (updated)

  1. Why in the world would you post this pic with a post about Joey? Are you kidding me?? A survivor dies, let’s post a pic of one of his abusers. You truly are an idiot. This is just more proof that this isn’t about survivors. This is about a cause that you want to promote yourself with. Sick

      • You had a different pic on of just Weberman before. I have a screen shot of it and I sent it around to people who know you. All you want is publicity for yourself. You using Joe and this tragedy for that. You should be ashamed of yourself.

      • Boruch Dayan Emes. I think the picture is wonderful, and I hope that this is how this poor boy would want to be remembered. Staring menacingly into the face of his abuser. I’m sorry to hear that he was estranged from his family, that even his own parents could not offer him some sort of support while he was alive. Not judging, since I have no way of knowing the whole story. Just commenting on how tragic it all is.

        • I’m sorry, but as a graphic-designer, it is clear from the picture that the two people are not standing in front of each other. Diangello is looking at the guy out of the far corner of his right eye, suggesting that the fat ‘rabbi’ is to Diangello’s right. The size of fat-rabbi is also not proportional to Diangello, were they to be the exact same distance from the camera (which they would be if they were standing right in front of each other’s face). It looks like fat-rabbi is walking by Diangello, not being confronted.

          • Thanks Brent for highligting this point.
            It is obvious from.the photo that Joey was just standing in line and neither confronting nor looking at the rabbi.

            • Actually, it is not obvious. It is ambiguous. One can confront when standing on line. the photo could easily have been taken shortly before or after the confrontation and thus would not have captured it. But, yes, the photo is not definitive proof of a confrontation.

    • Tat adam she kamocha. This is what Joey would have wanted, or so those who knew him say, and who the ” ” are you?
      Weberman’s wife? go to some hateful site, there are several. i am sure you’ve been there, perhaps even own one, , lech mi’po mag’il she’kamocha….
      You are the sicko. YL is one of the most ethical people on the face of the earth, and there “ain’t” alot.

  2. “There is no peace, says the Lord, for the wicked.” Let there be no peace for any of them — not only for the Webermans and Kolkos and Weingartens, but for every last supporter of a leadership that honors criminals and averts its eyes from the trail of suffering they leave behind.

    But what’s the price of peace for the innocent, for the survivors? How long do they have to suffer before they find rest? How long before their peers, and former peers, rise up to defend them from their tormentors? How long before we refuse to swallow the stream of lies, hypocrisy and slander served up to us as religion? How long before we call the Belskys and Kanievskys by their right names — supporters of criminals? Is it any wonder so many sufferers have found the wait too long, the silence too lonely?

    The introductory note above refers to Joey Diangello as “OTD” — that is, “off the derech,” meaning that after an Orthodox upbringing he left the “path” (of Judaism). I disagree. Whether Joey Diangello was on the true path to fulfillment is more than we can know. But about those of us who accept Orthodox rabbinic leadership there is no doubt. We, all of us, are “off the derech” — all of us have jettisoned the teachings of the Prophets and have embraced the worship of idols. And a paltry, stuffed-shirt, black-hatted, heartless and deceitful gang of idols they are, too.

    I regret that I never met Joey Diangello. Maybe he would have forgiven me for having taken so long to speak up. Now I must earn my own forgiveness — by never again falling silent.

    May he, at least, rest in peace.

    • Michael-

      Well said. Sadly Joey has joined other victims who have sadly departed from this world under similar circumstances and methods. It is tragic and heartbreaking.

      Keep up the good work in your efforts to seek justice for the many victims among us.

    • Michael,
      I am in the middle of reading your book. (which i guess was published in March or April of this year. I bought it online. I would like to refer any reader here, who has acquired your book, to your quote on page 15. Part 1.. It is so appropriate here, today. Not sure if YL would allow me to quote the entire paragraph. So for the moment, I will just give a heads up, on that singular quote, and on your book, “Sexual Abuse, SHONDA, and Concealment in Orthodox Jewish Communities”.
      I have only read several dozen pages, heretofore (LOL just finished my 2013 taxes) lowering the priority of the reading.
      And, if i may tell you, I am arranging for some copies of your superb book, to be available in one (or possibly more?) bookstores, where it might otherwise not have drawn the attention of the management. And, as YL knows, i do not know you personally. (Just via your new book). Yasher Koach.
      I cannot blog, I cannot publish superb works of research, but my tiny contribution to fighting CSA includes doing my small part, in getting your book circulated….now, more than ever.

      • I didn’t mention the book in my previous post because I wanted to write about Joey, not about myself. But I certainly shouldn’t let your kind words pass without thanks. I do hope many people read the new book (first available in July) — Sexual Abuse, Shonda and Concealment in Orthodox Jewish Communities — not just because of the work that went into writing in but because I really think the story of the cover-ups needs to be told and understood. And I’m deeply grateful for your efforts in spreading the word.

        As for quoting, I believe YL (who, I think, intends to post a review of his own) is right. There’s nothing wrong with relatively brief quotations for the purpose of review or discussion.

        Thanks again.

      • “Dear Family,
        You have all turned your backs and walked away from me. My father, my mother, and eleven siblings. All gone….
        What is the terrible crime I committed that warranted the loss of my entire family? What could cause parents to abandon a child? Siblings to abandon a sister? And a community to collectively turn its back in silence.
        I committed a terrible crime.
        My unforgivable crime is that I spoke the truth about my childhood.”

        The above is the preface to Part 1: Coverage and Cover-ups
        It is footnoted by the author Michael Lesher, in “Sexual Abuse SHONDA, and Concealment in Orthodox Jewish Communities”
        Published 2014 by McFarland & Company, Inc. Publishers
        (paperback format). 287 pages.

        (footnoted as posted originally by an Orthodox Jewish survivor of sexual abuse, to Unorthodox- Jew Oct. 26, 2007)

        In these days following another passing of a survivor, I feel compelled to quote from Michael Lesher. (albeit I myself do not know the details of any specific tragedy).

    • Mr. Lesher,

      You bring out a crucial and valid point. As a victim of sexual abuse, I am ripped to shreds again and again by those who are in the Rabbinical profession who invalidate me and protect the ones that abused me. What Derech are they following? Certainly not God’s- Who commands us “Tzedek, Tzedek Tirdof.”

      What a disgrace to God’s name that they think that they represent Him in such a superficial way of wearing a black hat and shuckling during davening. Certainly a Chillul Hashem. Those that misrepresent Hashem are great in numbers. I’ve yet to find someone that will truly stand up for me, and condemn those that molested me.

      I feel that my inner being is ripped to shreds again and again and am being held together by an off-brand Scotch tape.

      The situation is more horrible than words can describe.

      • Thanks for your thoughtful reply. I agree with you — it’s one of the main reasons I wrote Sexual Abuse, Shonda and Concealment in Orthodox Jewish Communities (the new book kindly mentioned above).

        TruthSeeker has commented that talking about the reality of sexual abuse in our communities is a starting place. She’s right, of course. But though I’m grateful for any cracks in the wall of silence, I think we miss the point when we focus simply on the evil of the perpetrators and the suffering of the victims.

        Evil there is, yes, and suffering too. But the victims I know aren’t looking to the community for pity. They’re looking for justice. And I’m sorry to say that justice isn’t on offer in our communities. Not yet.

        Oh, I know there’s been a ripple of consciousness-raising among the Orthodox; even some “good” rabbis have encouraged their congregations to listen to the stories the victims have to tell. But in my view we cannot begin to talk about real justice for survivors unless and until we’re prepared to condemn not only the perpetrators but the prominent, respected rabbinic leaders who have made cover-ups part of the warp and woof of our “religious” culture. And how many rabbis are ready to do that? Can you think of ten? Five?

        Imagine an ex-Soviet apparatchik, a fawning adherent of Stalin and the Party, who tried to claim moral courage because he had expressed sympathy for some of the victims of a purge — while never once condemning the system that produced the evils, or the leaders who fashioned it. Would we respect him? Or hoot him? The answer is obvious, but I’m afraid our rabbis, our lay leaders — let’s be frank, pretty much all of us in the Orthodox camp — are in the same moral position. Worse, in fact, because we don’t risk death, prison or exile when WE speak up.

        That’s the message I thought was missing from the otherwise moving panel presentation mentioned below. In my book, I quote a survivor who compared his abuser to a bullet — the bullet, after all, was what does the physical damage to the victim. But the community and its leaders, he said — all those who protected the abuser, didn’t stop him, let him abuse others, covered up for him — they were like the person whose finger had pulled the trigger. And where do we assign the greater share of responsibility — to the bullet or to the shooter of the gun?

        Thus far we in the Orthodox community have not earned the right to face those like you — let alone to embrace you. Justice lies at the heart of religion, and when it comes to justice there is no neutrality: one is either for it or against it. Until we firmly and unequivocally take sides against cover-ups, and against the perpetrators of cover-ups, matching our actions to our words, naming names where we can, shunning or penalizing those who have betrayed our religion, we — all of us — are on the wrong side.

        Harsh words, I know. But isn’t crueler to lie — to coddle the criminal accomplices and sacrifice the victims one more time?

        • Mr.Lesher I couldn’t agree more. You of all are aware and linked closely to victims and their pain.

          Going community events on sex abuse is paramount, and I think it is linked to getting justice for the victims. They overlap. By making ppl aware, they become more active in helping the victims seek justice and perhaps and willing to make a stand and show their support.

          But yes…we can have theses community events, but that is for the goal to prevent sex abuse in the FUTURE. Current victims (Manny Waks for example and Meisels victims) need these community events to make a difference TODAY. Right now.

          But that is only done through spreading more awareness.

      • As did Rav Elyashiv ztl, his father-in-law (for any case with any “raglayim l’davar,” which is almost any case)

        • As did Chavrei haBedat”z of Eida Hacharedis in yerushalayim and as ehrliche yidden do. Those that seek to metaher sheretz bekuf nun taamim, is because they are literally “nogea bedovor”, that is they are either
          1) molesters themselves, or have a
          2) family member that is,
          3) or a chosid/congregant of theirs.

          You can’t find bechol hatorah kulo, you wave capital punishment hiding it in the closet and be mechapeh because it might hinder shiduchim. Verayah ledovor, Ayin bivnos Tselofchod. Indeed, the Torah reasons “lemaan yishmeu veyiroun velo yezidun od”. Our children’s blood is not hefker!
          Protecting the young and innocent is a normal inborn trait outside of perverts. Rabeinu haKodosh was so called, because “lo hichnis yodo mitachas avneto”! Those that do for purposes of yodayim askoniyos, yodom tikotsets. Verayah ledovor, see how those big guys protected the kapo de kapo in the UK. Vehen hen raglayim ledovor. veda”l

  3. Ephraim Brycks molested a boy in Winnepeg who later moved to Toronto – the boy reported him and gave testimony, which was later lost, and ended up committing suicide by hanging in his garage during yom kipper break – this was over 20 years ago – he was around 16. These molesters get to live and the molested cant live with this.

    • Bryks is also a very dangerous man for adult women. He now runs a mikvah in Kew Gardens and advertises himself as a marriage counselor and someone who helps women going through divorces. He is known to try and exploit these relationships for sex. His brother-in-law, Peysach Krohn, promotes Bryks and covers up for him. Stay clear.

  4. I just listened to the recording of the panel on sexual abuse in Passaic a few years ago. Joey was on it.

    I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t in tears from the first 5 minutes Rabbi Eisenman spoke until the end of Joey’s story.

    He described how he goes to sleep every night crying. “I sleep with my abuser every night” he says.

    I think a lot of people want to help change the situation with sexual abuse. And I think the first step in doing that is TALKING about it. Not just victims. Not just people who might have witnessed things. Everyone.

    It should be a topic openly and thoroughly spoken about. Especially in the yeshivish world where it is swept under the rug like a “dirty and inappropriate” topic.

    I highly suggest everyone listen to the recording of the panel which Joey was on.

    http://failedmessiah.typepad.com/failed_messiahcom/2009/09/audio-passaic-conference-on-child-sexual-abuse-456.html

  5. Avol ashemim anachnu al “ACHINU” asher rainu tsorat nafsho behitchaneno eleinu velo shamanu, AL KEN bo’oh elenu hatsoro hazot.

    Sure, blame the victim! Fire a salvo of, kivyachol OTD, drugs etc., just so to pull away the heat and fire from the real PERPETRATORS, the MOLESTERS, the ENABLERS, the LASHAN HORA screamers with poked holy umbrellas, but killing innocent children burning their neshomos alive at the stake is sitting with you all fine and dandy. Shahhh… shtillll…. he was Off The DERECH. Never mind he went off, because it is YOU, YOU & YOU were OMED AL DAM REACHO, while he was begging, crying, mitchanen eleinu “Ki naaseh nevolo beYisrael”, but you chose to sacrifice HIM, namely, the victim instead of the perpetrator. A maisseh Eishes Potifar switcheroo. (Talmud) ‘Haloy Tuvia choto veZingad minged’? Is it a wonder why they lose faith in the system, why there is no emunas chachomim? When he cried and was begging to you, “Hazu Toiroh? Vehazu Schoro?”, what was your answer to this young frail umshildige little Neshomele? And for that matter ALL those thousands upon thousands of ALL our tayere tinoikes shel Beis Rabon, veTinoikes sheNishbu, and all our TAYERE TAYERE little “DINAH”lach, shne’ekdu vene’ensu venitbechu al bomsei Pilegesh Begivoh and all over the place? Have you no heart, have you no shame? You robbed them of their innocence before they even had wings to fly. The rivers of tears from our eyes have already dried out from so much crying. Our hearts go out for them.’Oy gevald’, Korosi ve’ein oineh, ‘Gevald Gevald’ Riboneh de’alme kuley, Korosi ve’ein koineh!
    Yes and yes, it is Yodeichem shofchu es hadam hazeh! Be it beralech, leiby’s, yoyli’s or dini’s. FYI, it is Yapil “ATZMO” el toch kivshon haesh veal yachlim et pnei chavero berabim, and NOT yapil et chavero to do a KISUI HADAM with ‘yennems’ blut, sweep it under the rug, hush hush. Lemi hachosemes ulemi haPSulim is the one that needs to pay. How convenient!

                                SHOIMU SHAMAYIM, "ERETZ AL TECHASI ES DOMOM"!
    

    And Oh’ yes, it is YOU that is supposed to be “SHOMER OCHICHO”. Nebach, this innocent child is not a ‘soir lazozel’ chas veshalom, and not a ze kaporosi, just because you can! Harotsachto vegam yorashto??? Huh? YOU burn his neshomo and then blame him for DRUGS? What about the pain you caused him for the rest of his life he could no more bear ? Short of at least to sympathize with him, what would YOU suggest to sooth his pain, if you only can? We already had Rosh Hashono, already a Yom Kippur and Hoshana Raba, what will you answer when the Beis Din shel mailo will ask you, Where is our little Yossele? What happened to him? Will you say, “Hashomer ochi anochi”, or will you say “Toraf toiraf Yossef”? When they shall ask you, Where is our beloved little Dini? What happened to our little Dina’lech? Will you say, Chaye ro’oh acholoshi, or will you say, Oh’,we rather chose to protect the perpetrators family and their isser’l and their raitsy so they can do shiduchim vezivugim without a sircha, rather than protecting the victim.
    However, veda Ki gam es Domoi hineh nidrosh, veHoelokim yevakesh et hanirdaf. It is THUS, that brings on mahapechat Sdom Va’amorah, a Dor Haflogah and a Dor haMabul, with a Mi Shepora. My dear Friends, learn from Ninveh ir rabosi om, vechizru bochem. Shimi na Achai, al no toreiyu, “Pen tisofeh!”
    To all you Yiddishe mamme’s and all Yidishe tate’s, I want you to know, that your children’s neshomo returned to our Father in Heaven tachas kise hakovd, tachas kanfei haSchinoh, zakuk umetsurof kezohov vokosef, shining shivosayim keor haboker beaspeklurya hameiro, meoilom vead oilom, amen selo. Tihye nishmosom tsruro bitsror hachayim. veAni Tfiloh, Please, accept our tanchumim, “OD YOSSEF CHAI!”, may you know only nachas and peace from hence on, velo yoisif da’avon oid, Veshovu bonim ligvulom!

  6. There are some lyrics from a song of Alex Boye’s “Have I Done Any Good?” that I think fit my feelings. The whole song is a beautiful one but this is the kicker “…opportunities right in our way. Do not let them pass by saying sometime I’ll try …” I had an chance to go with my father to spend Sukkos with my sister and her family in NY. I ended up staying in MN, which was good as I was able to help my mother when an emergency happened. However the main reason (besides seeing my sister and family) for my wanting to go was to meet Joe DiAngello, Chaim Levine and some others. I’m glad I could help my mother, but I missed my one opportunity to meet Joe and give him my support. All I can do now is try to help the cause.

  7. Boruch Dayan Emes
    So sad! An appropriate memorial for Joey is to make sure that his work continues.
    Too many men,women and children are suffering in silence,Joey gave them a voice.

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