Rules for Comments on Frum Follies

Readers sometimes ask me about my rules. They are the rules of commonsense for civil discourse and it should not be necessary to state them.  But since I have been asked, here they are.

Don’t insult others. Don’t hock away. If you have made your point and someone doesn’t agree, don’t dump the same thing ten times. You are just shouting in internet fashion.

We don’t bully each other. Don’t just call someone an ignoramus. By all means share information and explain why you think it relevant or why this establishes that someone else is wrong either inadvertently or deliberately.

No Sockpuppeting or Spoofing: Made up names or your real name are fine. Passing yourself off as another real person is slimy. You must use a real email address when you submit comments. I am the only one who sees it and I will not disclose it to others. However, from time to time I may contact you to confirm that the email address is real. If it isn’t I may remove your comment.

Don’t do six posts in a row under six different names to make it seem like five people agree with you. That is another form of screaming and monopolizing. It is even worse because it is deceptive. At my discretion I will block sockpuppets or even ban someone from commenting on the site.

Please use links rather than pasting in large chunks of material. Follow that with a brief description. This method respects other people’s copyright and allows the comments section to focus on the thoughts of our readers.

Don’t use foul language. I get it. Some of you are angry, furious. Survivors are completely justified in that feeling. I don’t begrudge you such usage in your communication with others. But such language turns off readers and gets in the way of thoughtful consideration.

NEVER post victim’s names or contact information unless they themselves have chosen to make that information public. Violating this rule will lead to immediate and permanent banning from commenting on this site. Where appropriate I will also publicize information about those who do this and will contact legal authorities.

Aim for clarity in your writing. Take a few moments or even minutes to check your comment before posting it. At my discretion I will edit or delete comments which are gibberish, or rambling. I am not talking about perfect spelling, grammar or usage. Just elementary clarity. I will delete incoherent submissions. I value my reader’s time and want them to find value in looking at comments.

Do not use ALL CAPS. That is SHOUTING and hard to read.

In sum, I am aiming for civil discourse and  interesting, constructive, disagreement. Unlike the Haredi websites, I am not afraid of opposing viewpoints. I find that being challenged helps me correct my errors and improve my arguments. Bad arguments lose out in a free market of ideas

I will enforce these rules. At my discretion I will issue warnings, delete comments, and ban serious or persistent abusers. At my discretion I will explain my decisions. Since I am doing this on my time I will not feel obliged to waste it by arguing about it with bullies who try to get their way by wearing down other people.

Sometimes comments on a specific post will be closed. I have only done that to about 1% of all my posts, usually when comments went past 100+ and the exchanges were getting repetitive.

IF YOU WANT TO CONTACT ME PRIVATELY– Submit a comment just saying please contact me privately using a pseudonym or email me at, or send me a message on facebook or message me at my Twitter account, @frumfollies.


6 thoughts on “Rules for Comments on Frum Follies

  1. These rules were first posted in 2013 and revised today. My policies did not change. I just realized that my original write-up was incomplete. I did it because some of those who used to comment on Failed Messiah migrated to Frum Follies since the new owners took it over. They clearly do not tolerate all comments, including some that are clearly reasonable and deserve posting. Unlike Shmarya Rosenberg, I do moderate comments, though I do not censor vigorous debate including major criticisms of my blog or any of my specific statements. I hope I can fill some of the vacuum created by the takeover of Failed Messiah.

    If anything about my policy is unclear, please ask.

  2. I do believe you CAN fill that void as it is becoming increasing clear that the new owners bought it to silence it.

    Have to add – I think (with no direct disrespect to Shmarya) that you may actually be the better voice for the issue of “Frum follies”. Especially as his tenure came closer to ending, he became more and more angry – and less willing to take even a single step back off an issue – even in instances where he was clearly wrong. Throughout his tenure (beyond the occasional “shout out”) he had no issue in taking credit for the work and discoveries of other people. As a single example, I know for fact that he did not discover that 5WPR was trolling his site – as I have seen the emails where one of his readers showed him the results of the IP search that exposed them. While that reader did not wish to be named…….Shmarya did take full credit (even in a NY Times story on his investigative journalism around the issue) when he could have (and should have) acknowledged that he did indeed have a source.

    Bottom line – I think his cause was and is a just one. The misdeeds of those of us (Jews) who have set themselves above the rest of us as the shining example of all things moral, just and the sole practicers if “true” Torah Judaism MUST be exposed, and the perpetrators exposed for the frauds they are. However – while his cause was just, Shmarya was flawed (perhaps because of the way he was driven to the cause) and as the years passed, those flaws simply grew because that was the part of himself he chose to feed. I wish him well in his new endeavor, and will do what I can to help push people to this site.


    • Thank you for your support of this site. I am contemplating ways in which I can help fill the void on issues of child sex abuse created by his departure. However, at present, mine is a 1-man effort and there are limits to how much time I can devote.

  3. Wellcome all: i sure hope this site will wellcome the FM bloggers , if only to demonstrate that a macher in the frum world us not gonna stifel he voices of reason just because he has a few dollars.

  4. A Sam Sacks wrote me: “The demise of FM increases the pressure on you. You are the only remaining outlet for info about abuse.”

    Actually, no. I am one person with my own life to lead, my own financial pressures and burdens. I find it incredibly presumptuous for people who care about a problem to deal with it by telling someone else what they HAVE TO DO.

    So many people were passive consumers of my blog along with Shmarya’s and others. Some spent a lot of time reading and more kvetching. How many of you thought about how you could respond to the problem of abuse, how you could help crowdsource solutions, how you could contribute financially or in other ways.

    I am willing to bet that if 200 regular FM readers each committed to a FM donation each month, Shmarya would still be at it.

    I welcome constructive thoughts, including suggestions about how I can best do my work. But don’t tell me to increase my load. It is obnoxious.

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