Using and Abusing Forgiveness: Dina Friedman’s Survivor Reflections

Teshuva, mechila, repentence and forgiveness are things in which Jews believe. But when it comes to sex abuse, their meaning and measure has been mutilated and disfigured into meaningless parodies. A superficial claim of repentance is proferred and the victim is pressured to graciously accept it and go on as if all has been remedied.

I want to thank Dina Friedman for her fine essay chronicling her reactions over the years to the fake apology farce. She recounts her enlightenment  with snapshots of her mindset over successive High Holy Days.

Check out her posting: I don’t forgive the man who raped me. scales of justice and child


4 thoughts on “Using and Abusing Forgiveness: Dina Friedman’s Survivor Reflections

  1. Just noting that she thought she needed to forgive according to Halacha not because any rabbi told her so but because of her own distorted thinking. As my rabbi told me, “turning the other cheek” is Christian and has nothing to do with Judaism.

  2. It’s tragic to read the victim of a horrific crime try to grapple with what happened though the twisted mysogonistic lens of religion. It’s almost like the original incident pales in comparison to a lifetime of confusion over whether she “should” forgive or is expected to forgive. Jeez just live your life..

    • If BZ is inferring that Yiddishkeit is a “twisted, mysogonistic [sic]” religion, I beg to differ. This Ben Zonah confuses the actions and beliefs of flawed individuals with a religion whose respect for women was unique in the ancient world and remains unique.

      I should mention that the very name Ben Zonah is disrespectful of the writer’s mother unless in fact she met the definition.

      I also wonder why BZ is even participating in this forum.

      • 5t resident,
        i am in total agreement with your comment,
        However, just to expand, why
        would this commenter choose to call himself ben zonah. It is
        highly unlikely that he does not know meaning of the name (son of a prostitute).

See Commenting policy ( )

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s