Category Archives: Satire

Come and Get Your Purim Satire

Over the years I posted about fifty satirical

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STARTING IN KOSHER CERTIFICATION (SATIRE)

From the Frum Follies Archives. First appeared on 10/25/09. I am re-posting for my readers bcause we are approaching Purim and we are tired of the dreary true life stories of scandal in the world of kosher certification, such as How … Continue reading

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Stalking the Stocking: The Lakewood Lingerie Law (SATIRE)

I first posted Stalking the Stocking four years ago (11/3/2009). But some things don’t change. Lakewood is still obsessing about stockings and ignoring or covering up for those who sexually assault children. A while ago Frum Satire announced the establishment … Continue reading

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ChaptzemNisht Rebbe’s Chanukah Message on Lashon Horah Mehudar (Satire)

This post is from 2009. Enjoy! Happy ThanksGivekuh to all my readers. In English the title of the post would translate loosely as, “The Don’tCatch’Em Rabbi’s Chanukah Message about Very Scrupulously Refraining from Gossip.” Rabossai (Gentlemen), Because of our great … Continue reading

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Mesirah or Mesorah? It All Depends! — SATIRE

Special to IzDosNishtNeias? by Sylvia Glenn Boro Park was happy to learn that two brothers who were serial molesters of Hasidic children in the neighborhood were arrested by the NYPD. According to Leib Rabidnowitch, “At last we can have some … Continue reading

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Rebbe Inflation and Moral Deflation: The New Rules Of Inheritance

FROM THE FRUM FOLLIES ARCHIVES: This was first posted on Nov 19, 2009 but feels timely with the latest outbreak of acrimony in Israel where the followers of R. Shteinman are having it out with the followers of Rabbi Auerbach … Continue reading

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Lakewood Says Violate Shabbat to Save a Child but Only From Gentile Molesters

Rabbi Daniel Eidensohn reports, “Lakewood Rabbis: Pikuach nefesh to save a Jewish child only if assailant is a Goy!” He points out that there are four rabbis who have signed a proclamation declaring that if a there is a suspicious … Continue reading

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Moetzes Gedolim Speak About Znus Affecting Children (Satire)

This is a repost of the very first Frum Follies post, erev sukkot, four years ago. It is satire saturated with Yeshivish frum-speak, which is why I named my new blog, Frum Follies. I apologize to secular readers because many … Continue reading

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PARODY- Vito Gambino Agrees with the RCA

Note- Do not read this without first reading the RCA (Rabbinical Council of America) “Clarification.” PRESS RELEASE—June 12, 2013 ROMAN CATHOLIC ARCHDIOCESE (RCA) OF OCEAN COUNTY The Roman Catholic Archdiocese (RCA) remains steadfast in combating and condemning all forms of … Continue reading

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STARTING IN KOSHER CERTIFICATION (SATIRE)

From the Frum Follies Archives. First appeared on 10/25/09. I am re-posting for my readers tired of the dreary true life stories of scandal in the world of kosher certification, such as How to Succeed in Kosher Without Really Trying about … Continue reading

Posted in Corruption, Satire | 1 Comment

STARTING IN KOSHER CERTIFICATION (SATIRE)

I am reposting this satirical item from my archives of previous years The essential elements of this business are: A Rabbinical degree of the orthodox variety.  However if you are aiming for ethical certification you should go for conservative ordination. … Continue reading

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A Career Newsletter for Becoming a Gadol (Satire)

I am reposting this satirical item from my archives of previous years B’Derech HaGadolim, is a new trade newsletter for ambitious rabbis. Subscriptions are by invitation only. ARTICLES Going Chasidish: When is it a good career strategy? Changing Rules of … Continue reading

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True-Torah Movement Takes Over the Orthodox World (Satire)

In anticipation of Purim, I am reposting this satirical item from my archives of previous years.  Chumras used to be like the weather; everybody complained about them but nobody did anything. Rabbi Karp’s salmon ban finally generated an angry backlash by young … Continue reading

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Train To Become An Internet Goy™ (Satire)

In anticipation of Purim, I am reposting this satirical item from my archives of previous years.  Looking for extra income? Who isn’t these days? Exciting new opportunities have opened up for serving the needs of ultra orthodox Jews. Many of … Continue reading

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The Religion With The Most Chumrahs Is Like The Country With The Most Patents (Satire)

In anticipation of Purim, I am reposting this satirical item from my archives of previous years.  Press Release: Kol Chumrah (Adar 14, 5770). Not to be distributed on unfiltered Internet! Rav Herschel GroisKanoi announced the establishment of Kol Chumrah today. … Continue reading

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ArtScroll Announces “Guide for Prevention of Mesirah” by Rav Gadol Sheker (Satire/Parody)

In anticipation of Purim, I am reposting this satirical item from my archives of previous years.  Rav Gadol Shekker of the Shah Shtil Institute for the Prevention of Mesirah (snitching) has successfully prevented mesirah in hundreds of cases. He is … Continue reading

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Agudah Announces Formation of OCHEL to Combat Kosher Fraud (Satire)

In anticipation of Purim, I am reposting this satirical item from my archives of previous years.  Nosson Poppowitz, special for The Forvetz. May 7, 2010. Yesterday, Rabbi Chaim Dovid Zwiebel, Executive Vice President of Agudath Israel of America announced the … Continue reading

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TalisBan Spins off YireiBan™ and Sells it to Askanim, Inc (Satire)

TalisBan™ revolutionized the production of fatwās cutting the time from initiation to publication by up to 90%. The system has methods for collecting signatures and consent forms from notable mullahs that allow TalisBan™ to generate fatwās when predefined requirements are met without making a mullah waste time investigating the facts in a particular case. The software has a complex ranking system for determining the first mullah to sign. It then assigns other signatures automatically based on knowledge of the status hierarchy of mullahs and each mullah’s political interests. It even factors in the interests of members of their extended family “Once a top Mullah signs the rest of these guys have to sign or they will be accused of being lax on sharia law or their relatives will gang up on them” according to Sheree Tabriz, a reporter for Al Jazeera.

Based on its success in the Islamic market, TalisBan™ looked into other markets and settled quickly on Orthodox Jews. Continue reading

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Rabbi Margulies: Pay Up or Else! (Satire)

This post first appeared on Frum Follies on New Year’s Day, 2010. It lampoons Rabbi Lipa Margulies, the main defender of convicted molester, Rabbi Yehuda Kolko. I thought of it when I learned that his nephew, alleged child molester, Yosef Kolko … Continue reading

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Why I Admire Rabbi Manis Friedman (SATIRE) by Asher Lovy

Rabbi Manis Friedman’s comments have provoked an Internet furor and he has conveniently deleted the YouTube Video in which he says, child sexual abuse does not damage its victims and the ones who later complain are making too much of it. His … Continue reading

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