This is a repost of the very first Frum Follies post, erev sukkot, four years ago. It is satire saturated with Yeshivish frum-speak, which is why I named my new blog, Frum Follies. I apologize to secular readers because many of the allusions will be lost on you. But the flavor of the piece depends on the language, and fully translating and explaining every allusion would be a ton of work, a virtual dissertation on ultra orthodox culture, and the various cases of sex abuse, well known in the community.
The problems of znus (sexual misconduct) and pritzus (immodesty) in our hefker (anarchic) society threaten the very life of our holy community. Rabbossai, chatani, we have sinned. Yes, even to the point where we have allowed foxes into the sanctuary, and znus into some of our mosdos (organizations of )torah. It is hard to keep out all those who fool us b’chadrei chareidim (behind closed doors), break the mitzvos (religious commandments) and are mizalzel (taint) themselves with the Internet. Continue reading
From my archives- Chanukah is coming up and I think this old post from 2009 is still timely. Enjoy!
Rabossai, Because of our great sins we are in exile. We are too far from hashem and too close to each other in Otisville Correctional Institution. Some say nisht geferlich because there are separate litvish and chasidish minyanim. But what good does it do to have a chasidish minyan when fights break out every time someone shouts yechi. But a yid has to rejoice and bring simchah into the world. Yes, yavanim brought avodah zorah into the har habayis, but we triumphed and expelled them. Nowadays we are also afflicted by our new Greeks who endanger the spiritual health of our people by driving Jews into jails. I want to talk about the three sins that cause this terrible situation: lashon horah (gossip), mesirah (informing), and neglect of pidyon shvuyim (redeeming captives). If every yid in the world would follow these Jewish principals this tragic situation would end. Continue reading
The problems of znus and pritzus in our hefker society threaten the very life of our holy community. Rabbossai, chatani, we have sinned. Yes, even to the point where we have allowed foxes into the sanctuary, and znus into some of our mosdos torah. It is hard to keep out all those who fool us b’chadrei chareidim, break the mitzvos and are mizalzel themselves with the Internet.
Some young men even ridicule torah lishmah. We know that in every age there were yiden who were not osek in talmud torah but they gave kovvod to their talmidei chachamim. Never before have we been zocheh to have so many who have learned for so long. Alas some of those very talmidim are saying that after they have a few children it is OK to devote themselves to parnassah and settle for learning on weekends, vacations, and a few hours on workdays. Torah cannot just be a hobby. Some of these yinger leit have the chutzpah to misrepresent the posuk, sheshes yomim taaseh melocheh. The posuk is only a heter bidieved, if the father-in- law dies, the kollel goes bankrupt, the government claim is denied, the IRS is on your case, your house mortgage is under water, and the wife can’t work. If torah is not respected, anarchy grows and tzoris befalls the Jewish people.
I came here today to talk tachlis about a fact that we must face. Our sonim lose no opportunity to say, chas v’chalileh, that certain rabeim are touching certain places. First of all it isn’t mamesh as bad as people think. Ashreinu, we praise and give thanks that those raised in torah keep their clothing on when they sin. Secondly, may of these accusations have never been proven. We will do our best to keep it that way. Thirdly, many of those making the accusations must be distrusted because they are really just fishing for heterim to commit the grave sin of mesirah (snitching). Continue reading